When Molly Bea fell out of the crib

Molly Bea is our baby of the family. The third of three girls. The last baby, we presume. She has the sweetest temperament and a ready-smile.

Last week, she fell out of her crib. I'm often the parent who says "she's fiiiine" and moves on, but this one left me reeling. Molly sleeps in a crib elevated about five feet off the ground.

My husband modified the crib so that the side opens and closes like a door, with latches. I think any mother would be terrified, as I am, that one day she would forget to latch the door. 

Molly Bea is the second baby to sleep in this crib and I still double check myself every time I put her in there. So, here's the gist of it:

Poor little Molly can never get in a good nap. She is constantly awakened mid-sleep because she lives in a tiny house with two older siblings. So the other day when she fell asleep I laid her in her crib hoping she would get to stay asleep for awhile. Just as I laid her down my two-year-old started screaming and I rushed out to hush her.

I was actually quite pleased with my parenting at this point because I was calm with the screaming two year-old, quieted her and the baby stayed asleep. Five minutes later, I was on the front porch when my oldest child came out and said "Mommy, Molly Bea fell out of her crib."

I rushed inside. Molly was crawling towards me crying. My first thought was that there was no way I could have forgotten to latch that door and that my four-year-old had opened it while trying to console her sister. But Mira insisted she hadn't done that and I could tell she was telling the truth.

I inspected Molly's body. She had a small red mark on her forehead but was otherwise completely unscathed. She escaped without so much as a bump! I think her blankets preceded her fall and possibly cushioned her and I know "babies bounce" and all, but still! She fell about five feet, presumably head first. It could have been so much worse.

For the rest of the day, she seemed emotionally shocked, like she had just discovered that the world can be cruel. She still smiled at us, but she was on edge. She cried easily. Poor sweet child. By the next day, she was totally herself again.

In the last couple of weeks, friends of friends lost a child in a tragic rope swing accident and a toddler (also friends of friends) sustained burns all over his body from a pot of boiling water accident. I had been thinking about these two families a lot, and praying for them. When Molly Bea fell out of the crib, my empathy for them shot through the roof.

Obviously, I'm not comparing what happened to Molly to what happened to their children. But let's just say that if my heart was dropping into my stomach when I thought about these families before Molly fell, then it was dropping down to hell when I thought about these families, after Molly fell. Motherhood, parenthood, makes our hearts so vulnerable.

Another tragedy happened close to our house this past weekend, in which a baby died. The mom. I just cannot stop thinking about the mom.